ATLANTA, GA - Coca-cola executives announced today that Mountain Dew has been approved by the FDA as a viable contraceptive. Yellow Dye 5, an intrinsic ingredient, which gives Mountain Dew its ghostly glow, is also well known for decreasing virility. “You can now safely ‘dew the do’ and ‘do the deed’ without getting your girlfriend pregnant,” said company spokesman, Ari Goldfeldmanbaumstein.
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Are you kidding me? Dew as a male contraceptive. Hmmm..no wonder I had such a hard time getting pregnant. My husband is an addict of the dew!