I noticed something interesting on the Gristede’s shopping bag the other day. While most plastic bags hope you have a nice day or ask you to please come again, Gristede’s reminds you of the most devastating terrorist attack ever on American soil. What an odd thing to do. Honestly, who reads a damn shopping bag? Besides me that is. And do they think it will actually remind people? Here’s what their ad wizards were picturing would happen:
<Shopper walking out of Gristede’s, whistling a happy tune>Hmm, that was a productive trip to my local, over-priced grocery store. I only had to pay 3 bucks for this moldy loaf of bread and 10 bucks for these lack luster cold cuts. Well at least the bags are an attractive yellow. Wait a minute. Hold the phone! There’s a message on the bag? <Brings bag up to face for closer read> Never forget what they did? Never. My God, I’ve become complacent. I’ve forsaken my countrymen, my country! As God as my witness <body trembling, using shopping bag to wipe stinging tears away> I’ll hunt those terrorists down myself! <Runs to local recruitment office and enlists>This one’s for you Gristede’s!
What a ridiculous scenario. Those idiots have much too high an opinion of their shopping bag’s persuasive capabilities. Always on our Minds, Forever in our Hearts, Never Forget What They Did. This haunting a xenophobic message brought to you by Gristede’s New York MegaStores. Well they must know what they’re talking about with an entire century of providing “quality-value-service” to the city. And the picturesque skyline they provide ensures I’ll remember what they did in case I forgot. A flaming wreck would have been a nicer touch though. Maybe a big cloud of smoke with Osama’s face in it. Now we’re talking remembrance! I hope whoever designed this plastic shopping bag is put in charge of the September 11th Memorial’s construction.
the only thing that could make the title better would be to call it “Grisly Gristede’s”
Yeah, that’s only if they showed the smoking remains of the towers.
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