LONG ISLAND CITY, NY - Peter Jelliffe is “the White Devil,” according to a statement released by an angry black man at a fried chicken restaurant today at lunchtime. The statement was made after the man finished shouting his order for two slices of pizza and Mr. Jelliffe turned to see what the commotion was.
“Don’t give that evil eye,” said the perturbed African-American male. “You wanna pop off?” he then inquired. At first it was unclear that Mr. Jelliffe was the person being referred to. After again turning to see if he was indeed the person in question he was told by the offended individual to “stop looking at me like that, racist.”
Mr. Jelliffe, now certain he was the one being referenced, ceased turning to see what the matter was. He paid for his lunch and left quickly.
This is the latest in frequent White Devil sightings in Long Island City, but the first to identify him as Mr. Jelliffe.
“I’m white, but I’m not a devil,” said Mr. Jelliffe. “I’m just glad this incident is over. How does one “pop off” anyway?” The man of Negroid persuasion could not be reached for further comment.
I’ve met Peter Jelliffe, and he is definitely not the devil, despite some movie that shows him morphing into Lucifer himself.