For 4 months out of the year, the coldest ones, people become static electricity generators. The air dries out and free electrons whore themselves out dirt cheap and cling to your clothes. Your shoes insulate you from the rest of the world, so you have a higher electric charge than all the inanimate objects around you, including your co-workers. When you reach for a door knob or anything else metallic, all those fickle electrons jump ship at once and zap your ass to varying degrees of annoyance. All too common and no way to stop it, right? Wrong. All you have to do is ground yourself at all times so that you can’t build up any excess electrical charge. Wear a chain around your ankle that drags on the ground. It’s the height of fashion and practicality. Leave me a comment with your name and address and promise to send a check for $10 USD and I promise* to send you the chain!
*Not a promise
The worst experience I’ve had with getting shocked goes like this. I was playing a CD at work on my computer and had the headphones plugged in. A co-worker came to my desk to show me something. He leaned over my desk and I got shocked� in my ear. The electric current traveled from his arm, through my body and out my ear to the ear piece and then through the computer to the outlet. Getting shocked on your ear drum is like having a cap gun go off in it. You jump about a foot in the air and then check to see if you’re bleeding while everyone else is laughing their inconsiderate asses off while pointing at you. I mean how would you like it? Bastards.
I think Al was right, these last few posts have finally been a return to form!
More Angry Pete!!!