You must watch this Flash movie commissioned by the Elevator Escalator Safety Foundation.
Sorry, you’ll never get those 4 minutes of your life back. But the song’s damn catchy right? Worthless, but catchy.
Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if this were the brainchild of a parent whose child was horribly disfigured in a tragic, avoidable, escalator mishap. Ironically, the solution they came up with is also tragic and avoidable. Rap has been the scourge of parents of young children for years, what with its corruptive influence and all. But rap, or “rhythm and rhyme” as middle-aged crusaders refer to it, is used for just that reason to appeal to kids with some of the squarest messages of all time. What self-respecting rapper raps about elevator safety? Not a one. It takes the likes of MC Will Rap for Food, and his Hobo Posse to do it.
The whole thing is just so contradictory. We have a 4-minute video aimed at kids who can’t even stand still long enough to not get hurt on slowly moving conveyances. It somehow takes 4 minutes to explain the utterly obvious notions of letting elevator doors close, putting one foot in front of the other to actually walk out of the elevator, and comes this close to reminding you to breathe so you don’t die.
Let’s not forget their choice of a magic, clearly homosexual, cat/man as their spokesperson. His effeminate mannerisms just don’t jive with the whole rap aesthetic. His bright yellow overalls, and his fruity dance moves qualify him more for the Gay Pride Parade than the Elevator Escalator Safety Foundation. Come on, you can’t rap while prancing around like this!
The video paints a picture of a world where elevators routinely stop between floors, and still have those clock-like floor indicators. I’ve never actually seen one of those in real life, I just know about them from 50 year-old Bugs Bunny cartoons. I wish informational materials didn’t misrepresent things so much. I also wish Flash didn’t fall into the wrong hands like this. Obviously, epileptic children were not included in the test group, because the brightly flashing background almost gave me seizures.
Then again, this may the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
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