Okay, the fact that this is a crock is not surprising. I see these all the time in the train, but this onedoes stand out. And I’m going to ignore the poor grammar, but suffice it to say this was clearly done on a computer, and spell checkers are automatic these days.
Dr. Mario claims he can help Men, Woman, and Children gain or lose 15 pounds in 30 days. That might sound good to certain overweight or toothpick-like individuals, but I’m pretty sure that sort of weight loss would kill a child. 15 pounds is at least one-sixth a kid’s body weight. It’s like chopping off their leg! Can’t imagine you’d look very good with a leg missing. So basically that puts Dr. Mario up there with an axe murderer.
Then there’s the more important issue of his credentials. He boasts 24 years experience. Not too shabby, right? But spaced out over 60 country’s countries?! That’s less than 6 months per country. He’s clearly a gypsy or pursuing a Guinness Record. Or he’s wanted in each of those 60 countries for butchering overweight children. Hard to say from this one pamphlet I found littered around a subway car.
With the dominance of PS2 and Xbox over the video game industry, Dr. Mario had to get creative. I mean sure, he had a good practice going in the 80s, prescribing pills that would literally zap germs away…but this is 2005 folks. Halo2 makes more money than Dr. Mario did before the malpractice suit.