LOS ANGELES, CA - Johnnie Cochran, legendary attorney, most notably getting OJ Simpson acquitted of murder, died from an inoperable brain tumor yesterday. Made famous by the rhyme, “If [the glove] doesn’t fit, you must acquit,” there has to be a joke to be made about his death.
“His death comes as a shock to all of us, but Johnnie would have wanted us to ‘turn those frowns upside down,’” said close friend, and unconvicted murderer OJ Simpson. “If it weren’t for him, I’d be in jail, with-out bail.”
This article would have been posted sooner, but the headline remained elusive.
“I was trying to rhyme tumor, or cancer with something, but it wasn’t working,” said Pete Jelliffe, author of this article. “I knew there was something there, I could smell it. So I kept wrestling with it, and came up with brain, which rhymes with a lot more words.”
“Thank god he didn’t die from exposure to Agent Orange. Nothing rhymes with that.”
I don’t know if it can get any more meta than quoting yourself in a blog post you wrote.
Awesome.