The following is a true story. It occurred Friday, March 11, 2005 at 2:30 PM EST.
“That’s odd,” I say to myself. Why would my keyboard and mouse be missing? The dish ran away with the spoon, but this is ridiculous.
I call up the IT guy and ask him if he took them. Maybe, just maybe, there was a valid reason for it.
He told me to ask his boss, VP of “operations,” about it, whose office is around the corner from mine. I say thanks and hang up. Now I know this has something to do with their draconian email policy, which I flout with reckless abandon.
I go over to the veep’s desk, and lo and behold, there are my keyboard and mouse sitting on the next desk from his. He’s on the phone, and I know I don’t want to have this conversation so I just grab them and start walking out. He says to stop and take a seat.
I’m so mad at this point I can’t speak. Technically, I’m in the wrong so I sit down. He hands me a sheet of paper that’s a print out of a test email that was sent by yours truly; a test email in preparation for the clandestine blog-posting scam from yesterday. He informs me I’ll have to sign a form on Monday swearing I’ll adhere to their email guidelines. I take my mouse and keyboard and leave, barely suppressing the urge to spit in his eye.
I have never been so disgusted with someone in my entire life. Whatever he thinks is so important about restricting email that he feels demeaning someone by having them ask for their mouse and keyboard back, is incomprehensible. Way to inspire loyalty to the company! He sure has succeeded in getting me to redouble my efforts to slack off. I just can’t wait to go back to work on Monday and pretend to do work.
that’s an awesome story. what’s even more awesome is that it is true.