NEW YORK, NY – In the ‘I could have told you that’ Dept., iPod theft on MTA subways has skyrocketed. The distinctive white ‘earbuds’ which deliver loud and clear sound, give an even louder, clearer message to thieves:
“I own an expensive piece of electronics, and am very distracted right now.”
Reported thefts of iPods […]
Archive for April, 2005
I’ve been trying to coin a term for this phenomenon for a while now. Let’s say you’re walking down the street and something catches your eye. It could be a hot girl, a sign, um, a car… Oh, who am I kidding? It’s always a hot girl. But it’s out […]
Girls named Hortense are not pretty. They can’t be. A name like that holds them back like inhibitions do an awkward teenager. You can’t make Hortense sound nice. Break it up and you get ‘whore’ and ‘tense.’ Worst name ever.
eBoy is essentially SimCity 2000 on crack. Their art appears in a lot of tech magazines like Wired. I’m still not sure how they do it, because pixel by pixel seems pretty daunting. I used to use MS Paint, and zoom in 400% to draw each pixel indivicually, but that was when […]
Be back in 5 minutes
-The Management
Jack Frost has removed his icy hand from underneath your shirt, and Puxatony Phil’s predictions are irrelevant. Spring is springing as we speak. Ladies, put on your $5 Chinese slippers and those low-rise jeans that make you look like a cupcake spilling out over the baking pan. Guys, don’t you forget to […]
THE INTERNET – Flickr, photo sharing service to the stars web-savvy hipsters, has just announced they are leaving beta. Current pro users, those who actually paid for the service, are having their memberships and bandwidth doubled, and receiving two invitations for their friends to join the pro ranks.
This is sure to open up the […]
Google makes geography fun! Video game fun. Flying time fun. Shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys fun.
Never been to Beverly Hills? No problem. Now I know where Santa Monica Boulevard is, and what it looks like when the sun goes down over it.
That tangled knot of unalphabetized […]
File this under “This shit only happens to me.”
I lost my money in an ATM machine. It didn’t forget to give it to me, it didn’t eat my card, it didn’t even run out of money. I somehow lost my grip on the twenty-dollar bills and they slid back into the dispenser […]
Nothing is new anymore. It’s all been done before, and it’s been done to death. New fashions are wearing old clothes from 20 years ago, new movies are remakes of old movies and books, new TV shows are carbon copies of European ones, conversations consist of year-old quotes from Dave Chapelle and the […]
