NEW YORK, NY – In the ‘I could have told you that’ Dept., iPod
“I own an expensive piece of electronics, and am very distracted right now.”
Reported thefts of iPods on trains totalled 0 last year, but is already up to 85 through the end of April. Apparently, stealing an iPod is almost as popular as owning an iPod.
Headphones are a tell to all muggers that you have something worth stealing on you. Why would they bother with the uncertainty of possibly getting a beat up Discman, when they can home in a guaranteed multi-hundred dollar iPod?
I don’t wear the white earbuds because I don’t want to be “one of those people.” But if you are one of those people, take some precautions. As this person hipster said,
“I’m not sure how they’d get it from me, unless they pried it out of my cold dead hand.”
Now that’s what I call getting into the Charlton Heston spirit. I know a guy who wears his iPod Shuffle around his neck and under his shirt like a magical talisman that plays the best variety of yesterday and today in random order. Keep it near and dear to your heart, like the child you never had, and in some cases, never will.
I’m working on adapting an athletic cup supporter to secure my iPod. Sure, I’ll get strange looks form people as I use the scroll-wheel through my open fly, but I ga-ron-tee no one’s gonna touch it but me.
hey mister. Looks like you have a suspicious package there. I’m afraid i’m going to have to inspect it.
Fuck man, why don’t you just tell the muggers I keep a gold nugget up my asshole too.
Don’t snatch my ipod!
Love the Leatherhead reference. That damn cajun was the least reliable bastard on the planet.
Leatherhead: I will turn those turtles into turtle soup, I ga-ron-tee!
Shredder: How I long for the days when that phrase held any sort of meaning whatsoever…