Okay, maybe not racial profiling, but it’s definitely weight profiling.
I was getting ice cream at a Ben and Jerry’s and I was waiting for the fat ass ahead of me to make up her mind. Surely visions of sugar plums were dancing in her head, but since those exist only in Jolly Olde England, she had to settle for chocolate sprinkles.
I guess it wasn’t her fault entirely. She didn’t happen to ask for the sprinkles, she just assented to having them adorn her ice cream cone. In fact, she had already declined hot fudge. Maybe she was trying to lose weight after all, but you know, taking baby steps.
But here’s my point: when I ordered my ice cream, no one asked me if I’d like to super size it, or add any toppings. Lardo, on the other hand, had to decline a laundry list of confections. Does a memo get circulated in Ben and Jerry’s that the willpower-challenged should be offered a bevy of toppings? If so, it probably would look a little like this:
Attention all Ben and Jerry’s Employees
Effective immediately, patrons fitting the following descriptions should be offered no less than three (3) toppings.
- T-shirt is stretched to capacity
- Visible “breasts” on males
- Extra “breasts” on females
- Multiple chins
- Left over food on face
- “Waddling” instead of walking
- Returns more than twice in a day
- The Managment
oh those toppin’ wantin’ folk